Family Photos
by MaryShelley1979
Summary: Remember the 'family photo' Batou carried when he was undercover in the 1st Gig of Stand Alone Complex? Here is the story of that pictire's creation...


"Don't glare at my kid like that!" Togusa snapped. "You're going to give him a complex and my wife will kill me."

"Pussy-whipped." Saito yawned. He dug his heels into the grass. The bench where he sprawled creaked as Borma leaned over its back.

"I wasn't glaring." He protested. "I just look like I'm glaring. It's just how my face looks."

"And anyway," Togusa shifted his son to his other arm. The little boy clung to his jacket, the skin between his eyes wrinkled in perplexity. "Why is it that every time I mention my wife, one of you has to say I'm whipped? I _respect _my wife, which is why I even _have _one, unlike any of you-"

"Jesus Christ." Batou growled. "Why are you all here? Don't you have anything better to do?"

They stared at him; Saito and Borma on one bench, Paz on another, Aramaki leaning on his cane between them. Ishikawa fiddled with the camera tripod; Togusa bounced the baby. It was a flawless day: empty blue sky, slight breeze. From their position, they could see the front doors of Section 9's headquarters, just across the street. Children's shrieks drifted over from the playground.

"I am simply enjoying the lovely weather in this fine park." Aramaki's lips lifted in a vulpine smile.

"There's only one woman I respect." Paz said. "Mostly because she could knock my ass into next week and not even break a sweat. And there she is now."

Across the street, the Major emerged from the lobby doors. She wore a skirt, sandals, a modest blouse. No one on the street gave her a second glance. She looked pretty. She looked comfortable. She looked…normal.

Togusa's son rubbed his eyes. "Finally." Togusa muttered. "Look, we need to speed things up. The baby's getting tired."

"I don't see why Ishikawa can't just put a picture together digitally." Batou crossed his arms over his chest, his most intimidating stance.

Ishikawa straightened up and stretched, obviously not intimidated. "It has to be a real photo. Even the best digital manipulation leaves traces. You don't want your cover blown, do you?"

Batou sighed. Togusa's son squirmed. The Major reached them, frowning. "Don't any of you have…never mind. Let's get this over with. Paz, stop staring at the playground. It's creepy."

"I'm not staring at the kids! There are some serious MILFs over there."

"Can we please do this?" Togusa pleaded. "My wife thinks we're bonding. I told her we'd be back for lunch."

The Major shook her head. "_Whipped_." She muttered under her breath.

"Well, I'm ready." Ishikawa bent over the camera. "Big guy, take the kid."

Batou started, visibly alarmed. "What?"

"One of you has to hold the baby. That's what parents do."

Batou looked helplessly at the Major. She shook her head. "Don't look at me."

His shoulders slumped. Togusa gingerly held out the baby. "Careful, he's kind of heavy."

The absurdity of the warning struck Batou immediately, but he had no time to laugh because the little boy was suddenly in his arms. The baby braced his hands on Batou's chest and tilted his head back, staring skeptically at the stranger. He was a cute kid. Big eyes, mop of brown hair, chubby cheeks. Batou smiled tentatively at the kid.

Togusa's son screwed up his face and began to scream.

The baby struggled, flailing his arms. His face turned red. The Major's eyes narrowed. Batou clutched the baby tighter. "Togusa! What do I do?"

"Well, for Christ's sake don't drop him! Hey, monkeypants! Look at silly Daddy! Over here! I love you!"

"_Monkeypants_?" Borma repeated incredulously.

"You know parental love is just a biological response to make you raise the kid and continue the propagation of the species." Paz intoned.

"I told you guys this was taking too long. It's nothing personal, Batou, he's just tired and cranky and is in that stranger anxiety stage…" Togusa dug in his pants pocket and came up with a floppy yellow duck. "And I _know _that Paz, but it doesn't change the fact that when my children smile it makes me happy, so piss off. Look, buddy! It's your duckie! Quack, quack!"

"_Togusa."_ The Major hissed. "We _need _this stupid picture."

"You may not get it, Major. You can't always make a toddler do what you want. Parents have to be flexible…"

"I'm not a parent." Batou dodged the baby's flying fist. The baby tried to fling himself to the ground, hanging precariously from Batou's arm, almost upside-down. The Major reached out and helped haul him back up. Batou gripped him miserably, trying not to squeeze too tight.

"And he can tell, you're all stressed and he can feel that and it stresses him out too. Just relax and…and hum."

"What?"

"Little tiny kids like it when you hum to them. Especially if you have a deep voice. Just try it."

Batou looked at the howling child. His face was turning maroon. There was no other choice. He began to hum an old song he knew. The Major let go of the baby.

"Could you possibly get closer?" Ishigawa growled. "You're supposed to be married, you know."

Togusa's son's cried dropped an octave, then another. Slowly his shrieks faded into whimpers, then into nothing. He rubbed his eyes wearily. A moment later he leaned his head against Batou's chest, popping his thumb into his mouth. Ishikawa opened his mouth again, but before he could repeat himself the Major glared at him and moved closer to Batou, resting her hand on his arm. The baby turned his head to stare at her.

"Wipe his face off." The Major ordered. Batou cleaned the tear streaks off the boy's cheeks with the hem of his sleeve. The baby wiped his snotty nose on Batou's shirt. "Make him smile, Togusa."

Togusa waved the duck. "Look, monkeypants- it's duckie!"

The baby raised his head. A tiny smile played around his lips. Ishikawa clicked the shutter, and the baby leaned back against Batou, sniffing a little.

Everyone crowded around the camera to see the shot. Ishikawa shooed them away. "Beat it. I'll put a copy in the Section 9 newsletter."

"A newsletter, hmm? Good idea. Break's over. Everyone back to work." Aramaki limped across the grass, trailed by Paz and Saito and Borma. Ishikawa began to pack up the camera. Togusa's son had gone very still; when Batou craned his neck to look, he saw the baby was asleep, his long lashes lying on his cheeks. His warm body twitched a little as he breathed. He'd never seen anyone so calm; amazing, since the kid had just been screaming like a banshee. It felt strange to be so completely trusted. She was looking at the baby too, her expression unreadable.

"You ever want one of these, Major?" He asked.

"What? Hell, no." She let go of his arm, as if she'd just remembered she was still touching him. "Do you?"

"I don't know. It might be fun. They're kind of…sweet, when they're like this."

She watched him a moment, until he dropped his gaze back to the baby. "Yeah, I think you might be a pretty good dad."

Togusa's son made a soft whimpering sound. Batou shifted him into a more comfortable position. "You think so?"

"I didn't know you liked old music." The Major leaned down and took off her sandals.

"Huh?" Batou looked away from the baby. "Oh, that…my dad was a big fan of The Beatles. "Yesterday" was his favorite song. He sang it to me a lot when I was a kid."

"Does he still like The Beatles?"

"I haven't talked to him in years. He might not even be alive anymore."

"Oh." She nodded, slowly. She didn't apologize for asking. He didn't care. She never had to apologize for anything. Maybe she knew that.

She started toward the street, barefoot. "Careful, you don't want to step on something sharp." He called after her. She turned and gave him a look that said just how stupid that sounded, then was lost in the lunchtime crowd on the sidewalk.

Togusa crammed the duck back into his pocket and came up to them. "Oh, he's asleep? Great. That humming thing works wonders. I'll take him now, thanks."

Batou hesitated. "Are you sure? I mean, if you take him won't he wake up? And you want him to sleep, right?"

"Yeah." Togusa's expression softened. "You're right. Maybe you better carry him to the car."

The baby sighed in his sleep. His little fingers closed around the collar of Batou's shirt. With Togusa hovering close beside, they began to walk back to headquarters.

* * *

"What? We have to do it again?"

"Sorry, man. Aramaki was going through the fake profile we made for you, and realized that the way we wrote out the dates, your fake kid has to be at least five. Togusa's son is too young. We need another picture. Borma's sister has a boy the right age, so we're borrowing him for the day." Ishikawa shrugged.

Batou sighed. "I didn't know Borma's sister had kids. Actually, I didn't know Borma had a sister."

"Yeah, well. He's getting the kid tomorrow. This one's older, so maybe he won't be terrified of your ugly face like Togusa's boy was." Ishikawa reached into his shirt pocket. "Here's the other picture, if you want to see it. It doesn't look half bad."

Batou took the photo. The Major. Himself. The baby, smiling shyly at Togus, making a fool of himself off-camera.

"At any rate, don't tell me you don't like the idea of the Major snuggling up to you again."

"Who wouldn't?" Batou tore his gaze from the picture. "Do you care if I keep this? As a memento of my baby-wrangling adventure."

"Sure. Whatever." Ishikawa waited until Batou closed the door behind him. Then he shook his sad. "Poor bastard."

He switched on his console and went to work.


End file.
